2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
