i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
