At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize