There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
