I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just want nice things and good sex
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
