he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
