Michael Bay diarrhea
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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