So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
