i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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