i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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