Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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