is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
