I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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