So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
