ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
