i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
