hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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