dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
