Its about making memories worth repressing
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
