i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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