Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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