32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
