Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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