What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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