What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
