so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
