Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
