why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
