so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
