Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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