When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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