the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
