what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
