I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
