Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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