I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
