Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
