Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
