i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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