I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Randomize
