I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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