if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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