I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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