uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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