I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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