This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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