I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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