Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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