big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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