my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
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Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
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just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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