I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
