My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
