Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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