Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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