Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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