I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
