If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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