It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
