she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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