i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
