his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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