As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize