I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
