I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
