I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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