why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
