my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
