You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
