They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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