You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
