Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
