Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
