So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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