I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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