stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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