Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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